


Now Everybody's Gay!

by cmere



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmere/pseuds/cmere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 4 spoilers. The missing scene from 4x11, aka porn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now Everybody's Gay!

Gob is lying in the dark with his eyes closed and a Tony Wonder mask covering his face, but he somehow knows immediately when the bedroom door opens that it is not Ann. His heart starts pounding and the mask that had fit comfortably five seconds ago feels like it is closing in on his face. He blows some air straight up to try to dry some of the perspiration that is pouring off of his forehead. _Either way_ , he thinks, _it’s basically just having sex with myself. I’ve done that dozens of times_.

The bed dips down on the side. Gob tries to keep himself rigid, to keep himself from rolling forward. He squeezes his eyes even more tightly shut and can’t stop from shrieking a little when a hand touches his cheek. Well, the mask’s cheek.

“Is this your first time or something?” Tony Wonder says in an exaggerated voice, clearly trying to make a joke.

“Ha…ha…” Gob replies weakly. “My first time! My fi-fi-fi—fi-fi—first—my first—should—should—”

“Shh,” Tony hushes him. Gob feels him slip into bed, lying down next to him. Then the hand on his cheek again, and then the distinct feel and taste of latex against his lips. 

“Maybe—” Gob’s voice comes out a croak. He clears his throat. “Maybe we should take these off,” he says, tugging at the hair on his own mask on Tony’s head.

“Yeah,” Tony agrees, and tugs at the hair on top of Gob’s. Both masks slip off and when the cool air hits Gob’s sweaty face, he shivers. 

When Tony kisses him for real, he shivers again. The mask drops to the floor.

It’s not the first time Gob has kissed a man. He kissed his nephew just a few weeks earlier. He can certainly recall a few other spastic, spontaneous occasions when he had to kiss the men around him, and that’s not counting the ones he can’t remember.

But this feels different. This feels like kissing a hot girl—except for the W-shaped beard rubbing against his chin, rough and soft at the same time. Also except for the fact that Tony is sliding his tongue into Gob’s mouth instead of the other way around, and putting his hand up the back of Gob’s shirt instead of the other way around, and Gob is the one letting out a kind of breathless and pathetic moan into Tony’s mouth.

“You’re so sexy,” Tony murmurs as he breaks away and kisses Gob’s neck, just under his earlobe—the first place Gob always goes as well. “From the second I saw you in the Gothic Castle during my illusion I wanted to f—”

“Ahh,” Gob loudly interrupts, because even after the face touching, the kiss, and the hand up his shirt, the reality of what he’s about to do only hits him as he has an extremely explicit visual in his mind of Tony fucking him.

“Like that, do you?” Tony says and proceeds to suck his way down Gob’s neck.

 _Revenge,_ Gob thinks. _This is for revenge. Even if I can’t out him as straight now, I can still make him fall in love with me during our love making and then break his heart after!_

“You look like you’re thinking too much,” Tony says, and places his hand on Gob’s groin over the thin, thin bathrobe he’s wearing. Gob’s cock hardens so quickly he doesn’t have time to think about what that means, which is good, because if he did, he’d probably be questioning his sexuality pretty desperately at the moment. As it is, he groans and presses his mouth to Tony’s again, their tongues meeting hotly as Tony rubs Gob’s cock through the slippery fabric. Gob clenches his thighs and twists one hand up in Tony’s hair.

 _Maybe it’s my white-hot hate that’s making my dick so hard,_ Gob thinks absently as he grinds himself into Tony’s hand. _I hate you, Tony Wonder. So—fucking—much!_ “Ahh!” Gob cries out and grabs Tony’s hand to stop him, because he is dangerously close to coming, and it’s been two minutes and Tony hasn’t even actually touched his cock yet. He hears Tony laugh a little and tries not to feel hurt.

“You’re really fun to play with,” Tony says, his voice low.

“Same,” Gob says, even though he hasn’t actually done that much to Tony yet. Why hasn’t he done anything to Tony? Is he scared?

 _Are you chicken, Gob?_ He can hear his father’s voice in his head. _Coo-coo-ca-chaw! Coo-coo-ca—_

“I’m going to give you head and then fuck you in the ass like gay guys do,” Gob declares, trying to wipe all thoughts of his father clean from his brain.

“Same,” Tony Wonder exclaims.

“Because I’m a gay guy and I have feelings for you.”

“Same!”

Gob grabs Tony’s pants and begins fumbling with the button. He’s a little surprised to feel an enormous erection straining at the fabric, because isn’t Tony actually supposed to be straight and just trying to exact revenge on him? Straight guys don’t get boners from groping and making out with other guys…right?

Gob doesn’t have time to reflect on how this applies to himself, because he’s got Tony’s zipper open and he’s pushing Tony’s pants and boxer briefs down and in the dim light he can actually see Tony’s penis and really, it kind of just looks like his own. So he scoots himself down, grabs it around the base and starts sucking on the tip.

“Holy shit, Gob,” Tony breathes, grasping at Gob’s shoulders while his feet kick a little bit, tangling them up in the sheets. It’s pretty cute, actually, the way he can’t seem to just lie still.

Gob, who has attempted various times since adolescence to perform oral sex on himself with no success, is curious to see just how much he can actually fit in his mouth after so many years of wondering. He decides to start slow and sucks a little further down, slipping his tongue back and forth on the underside of Tony’s cock. Tony’s fingers press, then release from Gob’s shoulders in the same rhythm that Gob is sucking. Gob soon finds that when he’s licking one certain spot, Tony’s nails even get involved. He pauses his deep-throating attempt in order to flick his tongue back and forth over that spot for a little bit, and Tony’s nails are raking over his upper back and shoulders, up into his hair and god is he going to draw blood—

“Uragh,” Gob gurgles as he starts to cough. 

“Sorry!” Tony cries, his touch suddenly soft and light on the back of Gob’s neck. “I just got a little excited—you are really good at that—”

“Well, I’ve had lots of practice,” Gob brags. “Being gay and all.” His throat feels scratchy. Is this what it always feels like after you give a blowjob?

“Right,” Tony says. “Same.”

Gob gives an experimental swipe of his tongue over the head of Tony’s cock, and Tony’s hips jerk forward.

“Can I do it to you?” Tony blurts out.

“Uh, okay,” Gob says. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Yeah,” Tony says and shoves Gob onto his back. Gob’s bathrobe flips up, and he mentally panics at the thought of Tony seeing his dick. He forces himself not to cover up and is glad he manages not to, because Tony just tears the robe completely open anyway.

“God, you are ripped,” Tony breathes, exhaling hot air onto Gob’s stomach. Gob is shocked to discover that even Tony’s chest pressing against his cock feels amazing. Tony trails wet, open-mouthed kisses up Gob’s chest. “When I saw you strapped to that cross I knew I wanted to f—”

“Ahh!” Gob cries out, still trying not to think about the idea of Tony’s dick inside his ass. Kissing is one thing. A blowjob here or there…hell, Gob wouldn’t be surprised if he’d given a blowjob before and just taken a forget-me-now after. But a dick in his ass? Or putting his dick in some guy’s ass? _But this isn’t just some guy_ , Gob thinks.

Tony’s mouth closes over his nipple and sucks at the same time Tony’s hand takes a firm grasp of his cock and Gob cries out for real this time. Gob has masturbated daily nearly his entire life, and has had countless girls jerk him off, and he’s always thought it was just a little boring—just a warm up, or the best he could do for himself. But with Tony’s firm strokes he feels like something electric has been lit within him, zipping through his body out to his fingertips and toes.

Gob lets his fingers run up Tony’s spine as Tony works his mouth back down, down over Gob’s stomach again, and rubs Gob’s cock between his hand and his cheek. Gob shudders. It’s not even that it feels so amazing, although it does feel good, but it’s just so fucking sexy, Tony down there, his mouth so close to Gob’s cock, his fucking _beard_ tickling at the sensitive skin.

“I really like you,” Gob says before he can stop himself, and he’s terrified when he realizes it’s not a lie.

He can see Tony grin up at him in the dim light. “I really like you,” Tony says, and takes Gob’s cock into his mouth. 

Gob has to clench his fists in the sheets to stop himself from jerking his hips violently forward. Suddenly he understands why Tony had such a hard time keeping still. It just feels good, just plain fucking good, and Tony seems really fucking enthusiastic about it, sucking hard and quick and Gob can feel his tongue flat against the underside of his cock and rubbing, rubbing, rubbing—

Gob gets into the rhythm with him, allowing his hips forward just a little, and back, and forward, and back, and he slides his hand over the back of Tony’s neck but he doesn’t even feel the urge to push at all, because somehow it’s just perfect as he’s doing it right now. Somewhere in the back of his mind, thoughts of Ann and revenge and fake gays and Tony Wonder bursting out of a bean bag chair are swirling, but it seems so easy to push those thoughts aside and focus on Tony’s mouth, hot and sloppy wet on his cock, and Tony’s fingers, so lightly tickling his inner thighs, moving up to cup his balls, scratching just a little over his hip. The sensations cause Gob’s muscles to clench, release, clench, fisting the sheets, biting his lip, throwing his head to the side. His face feels hot, so hot, it’s almost like he’s blushing, but how would he know what blushing feels like? Gob doesn’t get embarrassed, Gob doesn’t make mistakes, Gob doesn’t have any reason to blush.

Then Tony’s fingers, wet with spit, rub his hole and Gob groans and tenses up completely before pulsing into Tony’s mouth. Gob feels Tony carefully licking him clean and is overwhelmed by a rush of emotion constricting his chest. 

_Is this love?_ The thought comes to Gob, unbidden, and leaves as fleetingly as it came when Tony crawls up his body, one hand still rubbing his softening, sensitive cock. Tony kisses him and Gob doesn’t think about how he’s tasting his own come until after he pulls away. Once he realizes, he’s not even grossed out.

“Hey, are you okay?” Tony asks, clearly concerned. Gob doesn’t know how to describe the mix of what he is feeling, and he doesn’t trust himself to talk, so he kisses Tony again to distract him. Tony seems to get it, because he says, “If you just want to…you know, stop, and talk, like the other night, that would be okay.”

“No!” Gob practically shouts. “I mean, no. I’m fine, Tony. Really.”

“Are you sure?” Tony says. “Because, I mean, I love being with you like this. But I love being with you any way I can get you, too.”

Gob feels a strange sense of victory when he hears the word _love. He loves me,_ Gob thinks. _My plan is working! But what if I don’t want to break Tony’s heart anymore?_

“Say something?” Tony says. “I’m starting to feel pathetic.”

Gob doesn’t say anything, but he trails his fingers down Tony’s chest and kisses him hard. Tony’s kiss does feel a little desperate…or is it Gob who’s putting the desperation into the kiss?

Gob’s fingers continue to move through the thatch of hair leading down below Tony’s navel, scratching a little, before taking Tony’s dick in his hand. He hopes Tony feels the same way he was feeling earlier about receiving a handjob, because Gob doesn’t think he has it in him to attempt real, actual gay sex tonight. But he still wants Tony to feel as good as he does.

“That feels good,” Tony breathes, like he can read Gob’s mind. Their lips are still touching, and even though Gob has already come, he feels a thrill of pleasure run through him. He grips Tony’s cock, hand moving quickly back and forth, shocked to realize that the mere act of getting Tony off is turning him on. Tony squirms beneath him and Gob feels powerful.

“Same,” Gob says before he can stop himself, hand flying over Tony’s cock as he bends down to suck on his neck, his other hand buried in Tony’s hair and pulling just a little, fingers all tangled up. Before long he feels Tony stop moving entirely, dangerously still, and he’s about to ask what’s wrong but then he feels wetness on his hand and realizes Tony is coming. Gob rubs it into him the same way Tony did, enjoying the way Tony’s thighs are quivering, his foot occasionally kicking just a little.

“Ahh,” Tony groans, grabbing Gob’s hand to stop him. “Sorry, it’s too…sensitive…”

“That’s okay,” Gob says quickly. He moves his hand to Tony’s hip, wanting to respect his wishes, even though he feels like he could keep touching Tony’s dick all night and he wouldn’t get bored.

“That was really nice,” Tony murmurs, pressing kisses along Gob’s jaw.

“Was it okay?” Gob says, suddenly insecure. “I mean, I know it wasn’t _real_ gay sex but I still thought it was okay.”

“We’re both guys,” Tony says. “I don’t know what else we’d have to do for it to qualify as gay sex. But yes, it was more than okay.”

Gob smiles, relieved. He can relax now, even though he’s not sure the revenge plan worked out quite as he wanted. He can always figure that out later.

“Hey, are you one of those guys who gets energy from sex? Or are you the guy that falls asleep as soon as…” Gob trails off as he realizes that Tony’s breathing is a level of steady that can only mean he’s asleep. “I guess you’re the second one.”

He settles his head on Tony’s chest and places a kiss there. Sleep sounds nice, for now. He hopes he won’t regret anything when he wakes up, but if he does, he knows he has at least one forget-me-now left.

“I wonder where I left it,” Gob murmurs out loud, yawning. Tony starts against him.

“Did someone say wonder?” he whispers, tightening his arms around Gob’s back.


End file.
